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Cell Phones and Idiots Don't Mix Everywhere I go I see them. Attached to some girls ear or some idiot walking around with one in his hand as though he wants the whole damn world to know he has a cell phone. I see the people that want to look important with their blue tooth headset. As I spend my day as the silent observer I notice little things that lead me to believe that either cell phones are making people dumber, or only the dumbest people use cell phones. I have yet to get that far in my scientific analysis of this situation, but I am trying. Submitted for your review is why I think that cell phones and idiots do not mix. I grew up in the age of pagers. Remember pagers? Those shitty little boxes that just annoyed everybody! At least with pagers they beeped and that was it. If you wanted to have a conversation you had to excuse yourself and find a phone. It seems that today pagers are gone (good riddance) and the all new flashy, bling bling, status symbol is the cell phone. That in itself is not worth writing an article about. The most common reoccurring theme surrounding cell phone use I have noticed is a complete absence of consideration for anybody. I got news for you. No one gives a shit about what your baby boo is doing or where your going tonight and what you’re wearing. No one even gives a shit how your grandma is feeling or if she needs anything from the store. I remember being in the dentists office and there was a man talking on his phone and he was so loud that he literally drowned out the television, the receptionists, and the other patients that were talking. Everyone was just staring at this guy as he babbled on about some bullshit no one cared about. Do people really think that they are that special? Do they think that we have nothing better to do than sit and listen to this shit? I was sitting in class the other day and the girl next to me had her phone on full blast in her purse. Despite fumbling wildly she did not manage to get it out before the entire class was forced to listen to some god awful midi duplication of some shitty song she thought was cute. Once she retrieved the phone she left the room and went into the hall and proceeded to have an argument right next to the door. At least she left the room so I had to give her partial credit. Once she entered the room again I guess she was not satisfied with the way the conversation went so she decided to call her man back, but this time she chose not to leave class. She proceeded to yak in a voice that was louder than the instructor without any regard to what was going on. The instructor quickly told her in a kind manner to the “the fuck up you stupid bitch” and her reaction to me was, “how did he know I was on the phone?” If your life is so important that you have to answer your phone every single time it rings or feel the need to use the phone in class or during a meeting at work, maybe you should quite your job, stay home and be important there. At least that way the rest of us don’t have to hear your bullshit. Another thing I have been noticing are these people that don’t like to use their phone like a phone. For some reason it’s fashionable to use your phone like a walkie talkie. This makes absolutely no sense to me. The most annoying part about this is the ever annoying “chirp” after every single fucking transmission. Every time I hear that sound I want to rip the phone out of the user’s hands, shove it up their ass, and punch them in the face. The worst part of this new fad is that now we can hear both sides of the conversation. It was bad enough when we had to hear one blubbering idiot, but now we get to hear the other blubbering idiot. I was sitting at work today and a girl walked by and in the span of about 20 seconds I had learned more private information about her than I bet she would have ever disclosed. The funniest people to me by far are the people that do not have this walkie talkie feature yet still insist on using their phone like they do. Just the other day I witnessed a girl literally talking into the mouth piece then moving the earpiece to her ear to hear the response. She did this through out the whole conversation. And people wonder why our drop out rate is so high. I think we can all attest to the fact that the most annoying (and dangerous) aspect of this whole cell phone craze is driving while on the phone. It is a scientific fact (probably) that humans cannot drive and talk at the same time. If there is some jack off in front of you driving like an idiot this person is probably an Asian, an old person, having a conversation with some one, or talking on the phone. I get a kick out of the people that insist on using a lot of body language even when they are driving. There is nothing funnier to me than seeing some one flying down the freeway at 70 MPH flailing their limbs wildly as their car swerves in and out of traffic. I am still waiting for the day that the car veers straight into a brick wall. But that has nothing to do with cell phones. It’s no doubt that cell phones have made life easier for most people. I am not knocking the idea, although I believe we would be just as good without them. I feel that I must admit that I am a cell phone owner and not just any cell phone will do for me. I have a fancy bling bling razor phone only for the fact that it was the one with the biggest screen for playing Tetris and Pac-Man. But the difference between me and most other cell phone users is, my phone does not control me. If I get a call and I am busy I do not drop everything to answer it. If the person on the other end decides not to leave a message then it was probably not important enough to call me in the first place. Along with anything there comes a certain amount of responsibility. If you cannot act like a grown civilized adult with the cell phone then you don’t deserve to own one. If you insist on acting like a selfish little child then do not get mad if you are kindly told to shut your filthy pie hole. -= Bagoda =- |