 |
|
|
|
Diplomacy is for Failures di•plo•ma•cy (di-blow-my-seed) 1.) Skill in managing negotiations, handling people, etc., so that there is little or no ill will. See Also - International Hand Job. What a crock of shit. The biggest hurdle standing in the way of American progress is an out of date, liberal philosophy that wasn’t even present in the English language until 1796. Most people don’t realize that the founding fathers of this great nation had big plans that never involved sucking some Arabian prince’s dick for scarce desirables or sitting back while some third world country no one gives a fuck about takes a lead in the labor market. Never did they intend to turn this great nation’s political system into some sort of pandering freak show, forcing its leaders to eat crow out of the hands of the manipulated public all the while being ram shafted by big business and corrupt legislatures. It is a sad day when leaders are not allowed to lead and are instead forced to decide what certain words mean and whether or not killing worthless humans for shit we need is right or not. A sad day indeed. This country was built on strong Roman values, not worthless Greek philosophy. If it weren’t for the transcendentalist hippies of the 19th century, this great nation would own the entire fucking world by now. We always have been and always will be a republic, not a democracy. There stands in the way a threat to our great imperialistic destiny. This threat is known as diplomacy. Well, I’ve had enough. I am calling for a war on diplomacy to bring an end to the war on terror, the war on drugs, the war on homosexuality and the war on drug crazed homosexual terrorists and finally rid this ridiculous ideology from the minds of the American people. The US government spends $1 billion a year on diplomatic endeavors. What the fuck? Do you have any idea what kind of results we can get with $1 billion using non diplomatic means? For starters, we would have enough money to produce 8 nuclear weapons….a year. A little imagination can prove how much more effective these 8 little bombs might have over tea parties and bullshit treaties that we will never honor. What’s that Iran? Don’t want to listen? Bam! A years worth of diplomacy shoved straight up your ass in the course of all about 20 minutes. I guarantee that would shut their America-bashing traps. Problem solved. Terror level dropped. One more star on the imperial flag. But no, that will not happen, at least not anytime soon. Why? Because there exists in this country a cult of blood thirsty leprechauns called liberals. These are the shit stains that have decided that razor blades are not environmentally friendly and that global warming is undesirable. Most of these assholes live in comfortable, temperate climates. Have they ever stopped to think about the poor Eskimos? Of course not. Maybe they would like some beach front property that is worth more than a pair of jerked moose nuts. According to these “philosophers”, fairness and equality are the ultimate goals of a civilized nation. I don’t think so. The goal of an established community is to pool their resources together to rock the shit out of whoever is closest and weakest. I doubt that the first people to form a society said “Hey, you know what be great? It would be swell if we combined our resources so that everyone gets a fair slice of the proverbial pie (which would have been even more amazing since pies had yet to be invented). We need to band together to spread warm tidings and good will to each other and live in harmony”. I doubt it. It’s more likely that the conversation went something like this. “Hey, fuck those assholes up on the hill. They've got a good view and fertile land while we are stuck here in the mud like a bunch of douche bags (douche bags had probably been invented by this point because pussies have always been rank). I say we pool our resources so that we might smack the shit out of those cunt monkey's and when were done we’ll fight amongst ourselves until a dominate ruler is established thereby creating a natural hierarchy that certainly makes more sense than “electing” (wink wink) an ape with an IQ of gravy as leader just because his father was a good hunter.” The bottom line is that we, the American people, need to make a decision. Are we going to half ass this shit or are we going to make a damn commitment already? We can’t keep on living this lie. We want peace on earth and gas for a buck a gallon. We want closed borders and strawberries for 99 cents a pound. These things cannot occur simultaneously. We must choose which we value more, human dignity or cheap electronics. If you’re willing to commit to the cause and put an end to all this diplomatic mumbo jumbo then please write your congressman and let him know you support the war on diplomacy. Make sure to add a good dose of anthrax in with the letter because we will no longer have a need for congress. It’s time we stand tall and say no, I will not tolerate this half assed imperialism any longer. Let the Empire rise! On second thought, that might be a lot of work. Fuck it. Let's just do what's easiest. That seems to be the new American way. -= Bagoda =- |