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The Greatest Book Ever Written....Period!
The History of Farting has as much entertainment value as it has scholastic purpose. Written by Dr. Benjamin Bart, the book explores the writings of his grandfather who was once the Surgeon General in the Prince of Wales Light Horse Military Unit. Mostly written around the turn of the century, this volume is packed with everything flatulent. The following are a few limericks from the book. 1. I sat by the Duchess at tea, and asked, “Do you fart when you pee?” I said with some wit, “Do you fart when you shit?” And I felt it was one up to me. 2. So glib with his asshole was Carter, No man with a mouth appeared smarter. What issued ethereal from that vent-hole sphincterial, transcended the Farta from Sparta. 3. It takes little strain and no art, to bang out an echoing fart. The reaction is hearty when you fart at a party, but the sensitive persons depart. Along with these limericks are various fun filled facts such as the makeup of colonic gas, the causes of farting and antic dotes of past gaseous icons. My favorite part of this book is chapter 6 entitled “The A-Z of farting” that the author describes as “A detailed and intimate examination of the part of flatulence for those people who think a fart is just a fart”. Starting with the “Absolute Rip-snorter and ending with the “Zoo Fart”, in between we learn about farts such as “The Church Fart, The Dog Did It fart, The Hangover Fart, The Taco Fart”, and my favorite “The Immaculate Fart.” Yes I think it’s safe to say that this is hands down the greatest book ever written. It has everything you could possibly want. My absolute favorite part of this book is in the forward when the author is describing his reasoning for releasing it. He states that “A highly decorated advisor to the Australian Literature Board persuaded me that the collection of writings was part of the cultural heritage of this great country (Great Britain) and deserved and even demanded a broader and more appreciative audience.” Now that’s a culture I can respect. I can attest to the fact that the British love their farts. When on vacation some years back I returned with many flatulent related items such as a comic book and a shirt with a poem on it called “bottom burps”. If this book is not required reading in our public schools then I suggest we mount a campaign to expose our kids to literary genius such as this. It is high time we expose them to other cultures and force them to appreciate the classics. -= Bagoda =- |
