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A Few Things That Really Piss Me Off As I was working on my site today I realized that I am a pretty angry person. I was sifting through news articles updating the “In The News” section of the homepage when I came across a news story about a waitress receiving a $10,000 tip. The first thought that went through my mind was “fuck that cunt!”, but that goes through my mind all the time. The fact that some bitch got paid a shit load of money for doing her job really pissed me off. This realization had a snow ball effect and I began thinking of other stupid little shit that pisses me off. I do not believe that these things belong in my “What’s Wrong with the World Today” articles, but they certainly do not deserve to be overlook by a genius such as my self. Submitted for your review are a few things that really piss me off. Gratuity Did you guess this one would be first? It’s not the idea of tipping that gets me, although it’s not really high in my list. What really bothers me is the social obligation that most people have put on tipping. I know plenty of people that feel they have to leave a tip. They feel OBLIGATED to leave a fucking tip. Now, unless I totally misunderstood the point, tipping is supposed to be a reward of service above and beyond the call of duty. The last time I checked, a waitress’s job was to bring me my food. She is also required to check on me at least once and make sure I need nothing more. This is what I go to a restaurant for. I pay for her to bring me my food. Why then am I obligated to pay her again? I have asked this question a few times to a few different people and they don’t quite know how to answer. The most common answer is “they don’t get paid much for what they do”. So let me ask you how the fuck is that my problem? Get another fucking job! Why should I be shamed into tipping because a person decides to work in a shit job? Then some people might say “most waitresses are single parents and need the extra income”. Well my mother was a single parent of two and she did something most people in this country choose not to participate in; she worked hard. Last time I checked no one tipped her for doing her job. I work at an education institution. My job is to help students. Even though I barely make more than minimum wage, I have yet to be tipped for doing my job. I have met few waitresses or waiters that have gone above and beyond their job enough to warrant me to pay them extra. When I do run across such individuals I am more than willing to give them a few extra bucks but I will be god damned if I am going to feel obligated to. I have been to places that automatically add this to the check. Boy these places hate me. I am not afraid to argue with the manager until he removes the gratuity from my bill. My favorite line to use is “If you cannot afford to pay your people then maybe you could at least invest in some rat traps” in a loud voice. This usually brings an end to the squabble. Dictionary.com defines gratuity as “A gift of money, over and above payment due for service, as to a waiter or bellhop; tip.” When’s the last time a person demanded a gift from you? What would you do if some one did? I would probably punch them in their greedy scum bag face. Then why should we feel obligated to provide some one with a gift of gratuity? We shouldn't. I advise all the idiot waiters and waitresses that I have offended to blow me. That's that only way your going to get a tip from me. Paying For Parking Depending on geography, this one might not be as bad for some. Since I live in the cesspool paradise also known as Los Angeles, I am confronted with this almost on a daily basis. This absolutely drives me up a wall. It’s not enough that these fucking businesses want us to come in and spend money, they cannot even accommodate us with adequate parking. Rather, they outsource this task to a private company that then charges a fee. This is bullshit. I will not (if I can absolutely avoid it) pay for parking anywhere. The most outrageous parking fee I have ever encountered was one day when I was out working. I was sent out to West L.A. (ritzy part of town) to an upscale hotel for an event they were having. I was in the parking garage a total of an hour and a half. I went to the automatic payment machine and I almost fainted when it asked for $20. Twenty fucking dollars for an hour and a half! This shit has gotten too outrageous. Going to the beach down here is worse. You are either forced to pay for parking or you are forced to walk a mile and half to the beach. Maybe I’m just a tight wad (I just got the connection between gratuity and paying for parking) or maybe it’s just that I am tired of being treated like a tool. Rap Music God I hate rap music. I hate the stupid clothes these wanna be hippidty hoppity losers wear. I hate the way they speak. What I hate the most is that most of these idiots have no idea what they are doing to a unique American social movement. Rap music has roots in political rebellion. Now a day’s all you hear about is fuck this and fuck that, suck this and suck that. You turn on MTV and all you see is some skanky hoe shaking her ass or some moron wearing gold chains and his shorts down to his ankles talking about blowin shit up and respect this. All these people are idiots. What makes it worse is that there seems to be a trend in rap today to completely remove the melody from the song. What we are left with is some guy talking. The only way to break the monotony is to emphasize every 3rd or 4th word. It sounds a bit like Ben Stein getting a prostate exam to a drum beat. People used to talk shit about punk rock because it only used a few chords. It was called the 3 chord medley. At least they had 3. Rap today only has one, drawn out throughout the whole damn song. Along with the one note, the beat never changes. It seems that rappers today are lazy whores that care about only one thing. The bling- mothu-fuckin-bling yo! Whatever. Die already. Children I can’t stand children. Little crying, whining, stinky little shit balls. I live in an apartment building with mostly single mothers. All day I hear little kids running around, screaming and yelling, and I want to rip their little fucking heads off. I believe that all children should be required to wear a muzzle in public. I hate it when people show me a picture of their child and say “isn’t little Johnny adorable?” No, no he's not adorable. I got news for all you parents, your children all look the same. Much like Asians, all babies look the same. They are all squirmy little stink bags that cry and take up space. Of course you think they are the most precious thing in the world. That is the only reason you don’t kill the little bastard. If you thought your baby was hideous then you would not hesitate to feed it to the dog.I think that’s about it for now. There are plenty more but it’s getting late and I start a new semester at school tomorrow. By reading this article and disagreeing with any portion of it, you are acknowledging the fact that you are wrong. If you are man enough to admit it then good for you. Being the obvious man of genius that I am, that is not a burden I have to bear. -= Bagoda =- |