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Paragraphs are Overrated
Fuck paragraphs. What have they ever done for anyone? Nothing! At least that seems to be the general consensus among the internet generation. More and more, I am seeing reputable news sites foregoing the tedious process of formal writing and replacing it with the ever popular numbered article. It seems like there is no escaping them. Everywhere I turn there is some lame ass article outlining a few simple things about useless bullshit I could really care less about. This new type of "legitimate" journalism seems to be catching on at an alarming rate. Every time I attempt to view the current events I see stupid shit like: Top 10 ways to get some shit you don't need. Or 10 cool products your broke ass will never be able to afford. I really could care less about the number of things you managed to point out about a thing that was probably too fucking stupid to write about in the first place. We can make anything sound exciting by making a numbered article. Observe. Ten reasons why you should forgo sound advice and listen to some journalism drop out simply because he has capitalized on the laziness of the general public by taking all those silly little words out of the equation and replaced them with small, non-threatening numbers to look legitimate and help you prioritize the useless information he is peddling because god knows, you are much too busy to that for yourself and even if you weren’t your ADD would probably be sending you…….what were we talking about? 1.) You’re a fucking idiot. 2.) You probably had to reread the above paragraph because all it takes is one long sentence to completely fuck you up. 3.) You’re a fucking idiot. 4.) It’s on the internet. It must be legit. 5.) Paragraphs are boring. 6.) <--- The number six is evil. 7.) Numbers kick ass as long as there is no math involved. 8.) You’re a fucking idiot. 9.) This list is pointless. 10.) Hilary Clinton is a dyke. O.K. so maybe that wasn't exciting but it sure beats the hell out of writing more paragraphs and shit. -= Bagoda =- |
