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The Pink Conspiracy
I was sitting in class the other day when it hit me. All these years I thought that algebra was a useless math system made up by sadistic mathematicians as a way to get back at the world for their social inequities. But as it turns out, it goes much deeper than that. Submitted for your review is my newest conspiracy theory. Any of you out there who have taken any algebra courses either in high school or college can verify my theory. The Theory Algebra is nothing more than an incoherent mathematical system created by a partnership of the text book manufacturers and the eraser companies. It seems that at one the time the calculator company was in on it but I guess they did something to piss someone off and were deleted from the text book.The Proof Algebra makes no sense. A mathematical system based on unknowns and numbers that don’t exist. Trying to find variables that are better off lost. Who gives a shit about the tax on a pair of socks bought on sale at 25% off with a pair of pants1/3 the price of a pair of shoes sold at regular price? Do we really need to know this crap? The fact that there are more rules in algebra than there are in the Mormon religion should be proof enough for anyone. There are 50 different “short cuts” to do the same damn problem each with its own set of rules.Since the beginning of this class I have known where my eraser is at all times. I have purchased several in the past few months. Up until this point in my life I have not owned nor thought of owning an eraser. As I was sitting at my desk amidst small rolled slivers of eraser shavings piled high around me it dawned on me. This is what algebra is all about. It’s a god damn conspiracy to get us to buy erasers. It’s clear when the teacher says “now you try one” and then when she gives the answer you hear nothing but paper crinkling and the sound of rubber squeaking on wood. I defy you to find me anyone who has successfully completed an algebra sequence that has never bought a single eraser. I’m on to you eraser companies. You can’t hide forever. Soon I will have to start my own Truth campaign and expose you just like those annoying kids in the anti-tobacco adds. Until then.... Update Well the class is over and I somehow managed to pass it with a B despite receiving a 23% on one of the exams. I still have no idea what the hell I learned but at least I have fulfilled the states requirement of being able to say I took an algebra sequence and received a passing grade.......whatever that's worth.-= Bagoda =- |
