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If Dogs Need To Be Licensed Then So Do Hippies
Anyone that attends a liberal university knows exactly what I am talking about. As a student at the "mecca" of liberal universities, this is a problem I see everyday. As a political moderate, I am usually amused by the rantings of uninformed and completely ignorant hippy protesters. Normally I will stand and watch for a few minutes until one of them makes an ass of themselves (which never takes more than a minute or two), chuckle, and go about my business. But, like most Americans, when their ignorant bullshit interferes with MY life, I get a little pissed off. Let's begin with a little story... Yesterday, I'm sitting in class, listening to my 78 year old professor ramble on about the revolutionary change in China over the past 100 years. That's the theme of the class, revolutionary change. As such, we have already covered “communism” and Fascism/fascism. As it should be. The thing about this teacher is that he is one of the few conservative faculty members at Berkeley and has been a teacher since 1967 so removing him would pretty much involve him dropping dead or falling prey to an assassins bullet (which would not surprise me at this school). It is because of this fact that he is a great teacher. He doesn't give a fuck. He's highly unpopular amongst the tree hugger's because he is one of the worlds foremost scholars on Fascism and openly mocks communist sympathizers. Whatever. I don't care. You've got to stand somewhere right? He's an awesome political science teacher that knows his shit. Period. Who cares you say? Apparently some dumb bitch that decided to interrupt the class does. The teacher has only a few rules for the class; the most important one being come on time. If you are late, don't bother coming. If you are on time you may enjoy the lecture whether you're enrolled in the class or not. Every student in his class knows this and respects it. He also makes it a point to thoroughly humiliate people who come in late. Well, apparently hippies don't like to be humiliated. Out of the blue this chick appears at the back of the auditorium so the professor stops the class. “May I help you?” he asked. “What class is this?” asked the stupid hippy. “GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE”, replied the professor. “No”, replied the smelly hippy. “Class is canceled”, replied professor bad ass. To some of you this may seem harsh. Perhaps; but this is also a rule he outlined on the first day of class. It is because of this that the class is not inundated with assholes sitting at the back of the room talking and carrying on making it hard to hear the lecture. Anyways, so this bitch is refusing to leave and now has 300 people yelling at her to get the fuck out. Does she leave? Hell no. The professor charges the door with all his shit and the hippy flees (apparently afraid of a 94 pound, 78 year old Jew). He then returns to the podium victorious, with applause and everything, to resume his lecture. At that point the stupid hippy decides she wants to come back in and enters the opposite side of the hall and stands about 10 feet from me. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK?” asks the professor. “I'm not leaving”, she says. With that, the professor packs up again and is gone for real this time. It is at this point that the shouting begins. People are yelling at her to get the fuck out and some crazy French biker chick gets all up in her face and calls her all sorts of awesome names. I have never been so turned on in my life. Seriously. But is this enough to make the bitch leave? No. She stands there while each and every one of the 300 students walk past her and "thank" her for ending the lecture we paid good money for early. After the majority of students leave she is charged one final time by the crazy French biker chick and is then circled by students and grilled at length about her true motives. I will spare you the specifics but it soon came out that she didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. In the end she was there because she “heard” about this professor being racist (despite the fact that his wife is Asian) and a fascist pig. Maybe he is, but who better to take a class that focus's on fascism with than a fascist pig? No one is who. Anyhoo, she then claims to have bought all his books but never read them. Basically what it boiled down to is that this stupid hippy was sitting around smoking weed with the other dirty hippies talking about how great Fidel Castro and Mao Zedong are and someone who heard from a friend that had a friend that read on the internet that there was this teacher that taught Fascism, was a racist, and should be stopped. Shit like this happens all the time at this school and something needs to be done about it. Now, I am all for protesting when it is warranted. I believe it is a valuable tool and should be preserved as a fundamental American right. But, I feel we need to do something to discourage shit stains that don't know what the fuck they are talking about from being able to disrupt things with their meaningless hippy banter. My proposal? I propose that all protesters should require a special license. If I can't own a dog, drive a car, or catch a fucking fish without a license then you shouldn't be able to spout ignorant, third hand “knowledge” at will without one. What does that mean? It means that in order to participate in a protest or disrupt a class, a person needs to be well versed on the subject matter they are protesting. How would this be done? Well, shut up and I'll tell you. In order for a protester to obtain a license, he or she must first do at least 10 hours of verifiable research on the subject matter they are protesting. How will this help? Well, consider that 98% of the protesters in a crowd are either there because they have 3rd hand, distorted knowledge, or they know that someone will get them high after the protest. The other 2% are narcs. Take a look at the awesome design I came up with...
-= Bagoda =- |
