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Is The Red Cross Run By Vampires or What? About a year ago I got a call from a good friend of mine. He began to tell me about how he gives blood a few times a year and asked if I would like to donate with him. I sat back and thought about it a few minutes, weighing the pros and cons. On the one hand it involved self sacrifice, something I have managed to evade my whole life. On the other hand the prospect of receiving free juice and cookies was quite tempting. In the end I decided to go reminding myself many times it was for the free cookies and in no way represented my desire to help anyone. So the appointment was set and we were good to go. Two days before we are to be there I get a phone call from some dumb bitch that barely spoke English reminding me of my appointment. O.K. that’s fine. I guess that most people need help remembering what they have to do. The next day I got a call from some guy with the T.V. blaring in the background reminding me of my appointment again. Annoyed, I said "Yes I know" and hung up the phone. I couldn’t help but think that that was a little odd. Either the American Red Cross has a superb customer relations policy, or there is more to this story. What’s more interesting is that both of these phone calls showed up on my caller ID as “Unknown”. It's as if the number doesn't even exist. What's the deal? So we go to the appointment and give our blood and all is well (except for the fact that my vein clotted and they had to dig around in my arm with the needle unsuccessfully only to use a much bigger needle in my other arm causing me to hyperventilate, but hey, that’s the risk you run right?). So I’m sitting there eating my cookies and drinking my juice when the bitch behind the counter says “Would you like to make an appointment for your next donation”? I was just man handled by two drop outs of the local occupational schools Home Health Care program and you have the fucking nerve to ask now? At least wait until I leave and recover from my traumatizing experience. I just gave blood 2 minutes ago and you’re already soliciting a donation? Have a little decency you fat cow. And that leads me to my next point (pretending of course that my articles actually have points). How the fuck can you solicit a donation? If it is asked for then is it really a donation? Not in my book. If I agree it then becomes an obligation. I realize that having type B blood, my donations are encouraged but please give it a fucking rest already. Around the time I am eligible to donate again I start getting those strange phone calls from the “Unknown” number again reminding me that “It is time” as if I am on some ritualistic donation schedule. The whole fucking thing creeps me out a little. Why the hell is the American Red Cross so hell bent on getting me into their chair of horror? I try to think of myself as a good sport but enough is enough. I went to their little K-LOS blood drive, accepted their Journey concert ticket without punching them in the face and graciously accepted their T-shirt that was two sizes too small. I go back despite the fact that they ALWAYS have to stick me in both arms. I kept going back despite the fact that it took them over a year to send me my god damn donor card, but I'm sick of it. If I get one more fucking call from some ass hole asking me if I want to donate I will purposefully contract aids just so you fuckers won’t ever contact me again. I am a big boy. I can decide all by myself when I have time to donate. If ever again. Quit calling me already. So why is the Red Cross so persistent? Most people would say it is because there is a nation wide blood shortage. I don’t buy that. Every time I go in there the place is packed. I have never waited less than half an hour to donate. So if it's true that there is a nationwide blood shortage I must ask why? Are there that many people dying and getting injured or is it that most of the blood never makes it to the hospital? I am inclined to believe in the latter. The only possible solution that I can come up with is that the American Red Cross is run by vampires. Yes, I know it is a bold and shocking statement but take a look at this.
-= Bagoda =- |
