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Talladega Nights the Ballad of a Shitty Movie


Watching this movie took me back to Super Bowl XXXIX where all Americans were forced to stuff 12 inches of patriotic propaganda straight up their ass. Much like after the half time show, I left the theater feeling like I had been man-handled by a large gorilla. Submitted for your review is my review of Talladega Nights the Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

With all due respect I must confess that this movie had some extremely funny moments. It was mostly crude dick and fart humor but hey, I’m not above that. The funniest parts of the movie included the “saying grace” scene where Will managed to stomp on the balls of every Christian in the theater and the hospital scenes where Ricky thought he was paralyzed. The movie seemed to use the same formula we have seen a thousand times before of making children say crude adult lines for a cheap laugh. The only thing that made this movie worth sitting through was the outtakes at the end which were far more entertaining that the crap they left in. If it weren’t for the comedic genius of Will Farrell this movie would have been a complete steaming pile of shit.

It seems as though this movie was written in a unique way. It looks like all the fortune 500 companies got together and said “Hey lets write a movie about some stupid shit only rednecks and the mentally retarded care about, hire a big name celebrity to star in it, and place our logos in every scene.” Well that formula seemed to work just fine. As NASCAR as the backdrop no one questions anything. Just about every scene is filled with product placement either in verbal or visual forms. I noticed that even some of the verbal placements were then re-enforced with visual images. A perfect example is when Ricky mentions he got something on sale at Target. A few scenes later in the bar when he is hunched over on the pool table we can see the familiar Target bull’s eye hanging over the bar in perfect frame. This went on through out the entire fucking movie. My favorite was a split second shot of Ricky stepping on the gas petal and the camera zooming in on his Air Jordan’s.

Now, some of you might be saying “That was just a humorous spoof of the way corporate America influences organized sports.” Well first of all, if you want to call driving a car in circles a sport, you’re an idiot. NASCAR is a sport the same way as professional skeet shooting or archery is. It’s a fucking hobby you dim wits, not a sport. Anyways don’t get me started on the uselessness of auto racing. If this was just a spoof then wouldn’t it stand to reason that the comedic genius involved in this flick would have been able to come up with humorous parodies instead of using the real names and logos? Yes sir they would have. And since we are on the subject, do you think they gave away that kind of corporate exposure for free? Fuck no. This movie was already paid for before it even hit the theaters. Just look at the picture above from a single scene and see if you can identify how many different corporate shots are there. This bullshit went on for nearly two hours.

Now I must tell you it pains me to have to write this article but Mr. Farrell, you sir are a whore. You spread your ass cheeks for the whole world to see and corporate America shoved its shiny golden rod straight up. I’ll forgive you this time Will but you owe me and every one else in America a do-over. An acceptable offering would be an Anchorman 2 or some sort of collaboration with Ben Stiller and Jack Black. I am ashamed of you Mr. Farrell. Very ashamed indeed.



-= Bagoda =-





Originally Posted - 8/21/06