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Forced Gratuity = Extortion Imagine that it’s Christmas day and your family is gathered around the tree opening gifts. Now let’s imagine that it’s your dirt bag brother in-law’s turn, the same genius that is living in a van in your driveway because rent is too repressive, and in accordance with your expectations, reeks of pot and has no gift for you. This scenario is nothing new as he hasn’t bought a gift for anyone since he declared Christmas an over commercialized corporate profit machine (although he has yet to announce his refusal of them). Now imagine being able to have that son of a bitch arrested for defying the non-binding social custom that is the Christmas gift! Sound farfetched? I think not. The exact same thing happened to a couple in Pennsylvania. The couple had a pretty sweet evening of drinking and bukkake (assumed) planned when their plans were abruptly cut short because of some straight up bullshit. According to this article, the couple was arrested for refusing to pay the gratuity that was automatically added to their bill because their service sucked so much ass. Nothing wrong with that right? Well apparently there is. The manager had the balls to call the cops and charge the horny duo with theft. That’s right THEFT! So what the hell does that have to do with Christmas presents you ask? Well shut up a minute and I’ll tell you. Dictionary.com defines gratuity as “a GIFT of money, over and above payment due for service, as to a waiter or bellhop; tip”. So basically what happened to these two law abiding perverts was that they were arrested for defying a non-binding social custom. Dictionary.com also defines gratuity as “something given without claim or demand”. Once it is demanded it’s no longer gratuity but becomes flat out extortion. What’s unnerving is that tipping has become so expected that restaurants have actually started calculating it in as part of the bill. The irony is that we are now expected to pay extra for the primary reason one goes to a restaurant. Sure, I go to a restaurant so that I don’t have to cook, but I also go because a restaurant is the last place I can go where I can order a woman around without being called a sexist pig. Once they start charging for that I might as well just get a hooker. But with a hooker I don’t get a meal. At least not one I want to eat. Here is what I expect from a waitress whenever I eat out. 1.) Hand me a menu and take my drink order 2.) Bring me my drink and take my order if I am ready 3.) Bring me my food and ask if I need anything else 4.) Check on me once more halfway through my meal 5.) Bring me my check That is the basic service I expect from any waiter or waitress in any restaurant regardless of how busy it is. If the waiter or waitress does those five things then I am happy but they have not earned a tip because that is exactly what I am paying extra for. Now, for every time the waiter or waitress comes to my table I will add a dollar to the tip or if the restaurant is exceptionally busy and the five things are done well I will and a few dollars. The point is that the server must provide exceptional service to be exceptionally rewarded. That’s the whole point of gratuity. You can save all that bullshit about waitresses not making enough money because it’s really none of my business what someone does with their life. We shouldn't be forced to supplement someone’s income simply because they are too good to rub their vagoo on a steel pole or sit on sweaty old men’s faces for some extra cash. We all do what we have to do when we need to do it or we suffer the consequences. -= Bagoda =- |