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A Brief Guide to What's Wrong With the World Today
What’s wrong with the world today? I’m sure that if you ask 100 different people you will get 100 different answers. Well I am one person, and what’s more, I am the only person that matters. If you didn’t value my wise and brilliant opinion then why are you on MY website reading MY writing? I bet you have read more than one article haven’t you? You filthy little whore. Anyhoo, I’m getting a little off the subject. I don’t have time to write an article about what’s wrong with you. Instead I will focus my brilliance on a much more interesting topic, the world at large. There is no greater material for a pessimist than politics or religion (which is great because I think a lot of what’s wrong with politics is religion). This article is the first in what I hope to be an indefinite part series. If you should happen to take offense to anything written here then blow me. Submitted for your review is what I think is wrong with the world today. Inbred Hicks Yes southerners I am talking about you. The fact that the rebel flag is still being flown some 140 years after the civil war solidifies the fact that “ya’ll are a bit slow”. I got news for you; the south will never rise again. The Federalists won. Get over it. Even though they made a mess of things, they still have the power. I’ll admit you had a few good ideas as far as confederacy goes but you got greedy. The civil war was never about slavery, much like the current war has nothing to do with freedom. It was about money and slavery just happened to be the currency. So why do you still insist on making the rebel flag a symbol of bigotry? Try a new approach already. The NRA Don’t get me started on the NRA. The fact that organizations like this are still allowed to operate legally in a free democracy while other groups are not, is proof of the never ending hypocrisy of this country. I’m not a conspiracy nut that attempts to connect the NRA with the KKK but I do believe that this world would be better off if we lined up and shot every member with the very guns they so feverishly attempt to defend. Just to give you an idea about the coldness of this “American Institution”, here is a short list of organizations black listed by the NRA. 1.) American Civil Liberties Union 2.) American Ethical Union 3.) American Jewish Congress 4.) General Federation of Women’s Clubs 5.) Int`l Association of Educators for World Peace 6.) League of Women Voters of the United States 7.) National Association for the Advancement of Colored People 8.) National Coalition Against Domestic Violence The list literally goes on for pages and pages and pages. After all the organizations are named they go on to name the celebrities, columnists, private citizens, and corporations that dare speak an ill word about gun violence. Give me a fucking break. Well I can be just as childish. In writing this article thus far I have decided to create my own black list, and here it is. 1.) The NRA That’s it. Fuck off you hypocritical bastards. Terrorist I don’t mean terrorists as in the people that inflict terror, I mean the word terrorist. This seems to be the political buzzword of our time. Much like the word communist was after WWII, terrorist, terrorism, and just terror in general seem to be at the forefront of American and global news and conversation. If I hear this word one more fucking time I am personally going to blow some shit up. It seems that terrorism is no longer limited to high jacking a plane or blowing up a building. Anyone that is an enemy of the state or does not conform to American or allied social norms and opinions are now labeled terrorists. This is bullshit. Wouldn’t you consider some one that invades a country illegally under false pretenses, over throws the government, and refuses to leave, a terrorist? Isn’t that what we called Saddam during the first gulf war when he attempted the same thing in Kuwait? So why the double standard? Oh yeah cause were special. I forgot about that little detail. Americans Americans are a bunch of whiny little pussies. “Can you believe the price of gas?” or “Oh dear the interest rate on my blah blah blah blah……” Shut the fuck up already! You want to know what’s worth bitching about? Try living in a third world country where your life is a daily struggle to keep enough food in your stomach to keep from starving to death, watching your children die from lack of nutrition and disease, and living in a god awful hellhole. Try living in a city raged by a war that has nothing to do with you as your loved ones are killed day after day. No, most Americans have no clue of the things worth bitching about. The ones that do, don’t. I doubt that the price of gas, the cost of a home in an upscale neighborhood, or the price of a pound of steak would mean much if your entire city was suddenly gone. No, at that point none of that shit would matter. So why should it now? Conservatives Conservatives are just about all that’s wrong with the world today. You people don’t have a very good track record. Three of the world’s most successful conservative groups (in my opinion anyhow) have been the Catholic Church, The Nazi Party and the American Republican Party. The Catholic Church’s tyrant rule is proof that change must come if God is to be found in religion. Hitler was by far the world’s most successful conservative in carrying out his crazy agenda. And now it seems that the Republican Party has dethroned the Jews as God’s new chosen people. Just in case your a complete moron I'll let you in on a little secret. Just about everything that is going on in this the world at this very moment is the result of conservative groups trying to convince the world they are right. Albeit Muslim, American, Jewish or otherwise, conservatives are fighting to conserve their ideal interpretations of what the world should be. I got news for you people; you’re all a bunch of idiots. Here is how it works. American conservatives hate terrorists. They consider terrorists to be religious fundamentalists whose sole aim is to spread their beliefs through any means possible, including violence. Fundamentalism is defined as “A usually religious movement or point of view characterized by a return to fundamental principles, by rigid adherence to those principles, and often by intolerance of other views and opposition to secularism.” In other words, some one that prefers to “conserve” some part of the past and fears any sort of change from old values and ideology. That would stand to reason that American conservatives are religious fundamentalists or in other words, they are the very thing they despise the most. Is anyone else seeing the humor in this? I am, therefore I hate. I hate, therefore I am. I hate that which I am, therefore I must convince myself I am not that which I hate. Whatever. Conservatism is the number one killer on planet earth right now. But go ahead and disagree with me, after all God is on your side. Liberals Don’t think that just because I hate the conservative scum bags that you are off the hook liberals. If there is anything I hate worse than a conservative, it is definitely a liberal douche bag. Why? Well the answer is quite simple. Liberals are a bunch of pussies. At least the conservatives are not afraid to die (or at least kill) for the bullshit they believe. All the liberals do is sit around and tell everyone how great the world would be if everyone just listed to them. But give them a little power and they freak like a nerd being tea bagged by a hot chick. Although I consider my thoughts and opinions to be quite liberal I will be god damned if I'll call myself a liberal. The shining example of recent is one John Kerry. This was America’s great white hope of liberal freedom. He was supposed to be the savior that would free the country from the clutches of the evil conservatives. But alas he folded like a cheap accordion when the shit hit the fan. For what ever reason he was unwilling to stand and fight as George W. Bush stole the election for a second time. Even after committing to “never concede”, in typical liberal style, his words held no more weight than the hot air that carried them out of his hypocritical, lying mouth. But hey, there’s always 2008 right? Dream on. Business Majors This world needs more business majors like it needs global nuclear annihilation (wait that's a bad analogy). The irony is that the latter may actually be initiated by the first. When some one tells me they are a business major, the first thing that runs through my head is “fucking idiot”. And not in a good way. In a country where wars are fought by honest men but started and managed by large corporations, the last thing we need is more fucking business majors. It was solidified after WWII that the American economy needs war to stabilize our ever fragile economic system. Is it any wonder that we have had a major conflict every decade since? To me business majors are nothing more than self serving hypocritical morons that deserve to rot in a pile of their own feces. Is that too harsh? Maybe. But it's probably just that your wrong, or a business major (same thing). I think that’s about it for now. I’m tired. These are just a few of the things that I find to be wrong with the world today. It is by no means a comprehensive or complete list, but it’s all my A.D.D. will allow me to focus on at one time. Look forward to seeing more installments of this article in the future (this is not a suggestion, it is an order). If it pissed you off then good. Maybe it got you out of your safe little bubble long enough for the real world to rattle your nerves. The fact is that the world has real problems and they generally have nothing to do with the bullshit we focus on. -= Bagoda =- |
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